A little boy runs up to his mom.
‘Mommy, am I deformed?’ he asks.
‘No,’ replies Mom, ‘Of course not. Why do you ask?’
‘Because I only have one weewee,’ says the boy.
‘Honey, men only have one weewee,’ says Mom.
‘But Daddy has two!’ exclaims the boy.
‘Hah, no, Daddy only has one. Believe me, I know,’ says Mom.
‘Nuh uh,’ says the boy, ‘Daddy has 2. A regular one he goes peepee
with, and a great big one he brushes the babysitter’s teeth with.’
A chemistry professor wins a “why” conversation with his three year old daughter.
No, not me!
From today’s Reuters feed:
A 21-year-old German tourist who wanted to visit his girlfriend in the Australian metropolis Sydney landed 13,000 kilometers (8,077 miles) away near Sidney, Montana, after mistyping his destination on a flight booking Web site.
Dressed for the Australian summer in T-shirt and shorts, Tobi Gutt left Germany on Saturday for a four-week holiday.
Instead of arriving “down under”, Gutt found himself on a different continent and bound for the chilly state of Montana.
“I did wonder but I didn’t want to say anything,” Gutt told the Bild newspaper. “I thought to myself, you can fly to Australia via the United States.”
Gutt’s airline ticket routed him via the U.S. city of Portland, Oregon, to Billings, Montana. Only as he was about to board a commuter flight to Sidney — an oil town of about 5,000 people — did he realize his mistake.
The hapless tourist, who had only a thin jacket to keep out the winter cold, spent three days in Billings airport before he was able to buy a new ticket to Australia with 600 euros in cash that his parents and friends sent over from Germany.
“I didn’t notice the mistake as my son is usually good with computers,” his mother, Sabine, told Reuters.
Pay attention, children. This is why you need to care about spelling and geography and not just be a geek.
This is *so* not for the easily-squicked: the top ten broken bones in sports. Complete with video. Apparently there’s extra points for compound fractures (where the end of the bone breaks the skin.) Ewww!
From the “don’t try this at home” department… Some dude in a lab coat trying to process Thanksgiving dinner in a blender for toothless Uncle Floyd. Follow the links on the page for other blender madness.
Introducing the Basic Optical Organized Knowledge device, a revolutionary breakthrough in technology. It is completely wireless, requires no power supply nor external circuitry, and has a completely intuitive user interface. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere, in any position. The interface can be maintained while moving or standing still.
The BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (completely recyclable!) each capable of holding many kilobits of data. The pages are locked together with a collation device known as a “binding” which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, which doubles the bit density per storage unit.
Any BOOK that requires more data content simply uses more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically by a bio-organic device (usually available in pairs for redundancy.) Information is registered directly on the user’s memory retention device. The rate and quality of memory retention is controlled by the user.
The BOOK implements a “browse” feature allows the user to move instantly to any page. Many BOOKs also come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for immediate retrieval.
An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows the user to instantly restart a BOOK session at the exact place it was ended in a previous viewing, even if the BOOK has been closed or transported. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK and availability of BOOKmark material. (Note that BOOKmark material is often open-source, and can be quickly created from many available materials. Using the material of the BOOK itself as raw material for a BOOKmark is frowned upon by many authorities.)
The BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting; indeed, it can be dropped multiple times on a hard surface without damage. However, contact with significant amounts of fluids may cause unrecoverable data corruption. This issue should be allowed for when contemplating long-term storage. Maintenance and short-term storage can be an issue as well. Aside from the previously-mentioned fluid damage, flammability has been noted on occasion. Due to differing sizes of BOOKs, certain users may find inappropriate secondary uses for the devices. The owner of the BOOK should take care to prevent this.
Modifications and annotations can sometimes be made near BOOK data entries with optional programming tools, such as the Portable Extensible Notation (PEN) and Portable Erasable Notation Composite Internal Lithotropy (PENCIL) devices. However, again, this activity is not appreciated by some authorities.
BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for many new versions soon.
I love this picture, particularly the expression on the dude’s face. I have no clue what the context is, or what the guys in the hazmat suits are focused on so intently, but I guarantee I wouldn’t be standing next to them in my white Bermudas with my hands in my pockets.
The image has been shamelessly stolen from the US Navy Safety Center Photo of the Week. Unfortunately, they have no further details either.
An unexplained phenomenon akin to a space-borne car wash has boosted the performance of one of the two U.S. rovers probing the surface of Mars, New Scientist magazine said on Tuesday.
Wanna mess with your network-nannies at work? Click here: Nice Tits. (Yes, it’s totally SFW! Really! Though you might want to practice saying “ornithological”.)